I guess you could say I’m having a love affair of sorts with an inherently inanimate object. Maybe I’m tripping with this sex doll, an inanimate object, I can’t even properly name – is it a her? Does it have a gender? I don’t think so. But even so, I love it.
It’s like nothing I’ve ever experienced before, it definitely messes with my head – how can I be attracted to something so fundamentally different? My friends just laugh at me when I tell them and think I’m crazy. But it’s more than that, I’m captivated by its beauty, Penis Rings or whatever beauty you can call it. It’s far from perfect, but still somehow perfect in its imperfection. I’m allured to its strange lines and the way it looks, and my time spent with it feels more special than anything I’ve ever felt before.
It’s a strange kind of relationship; encountering one a few times a week usually, in an intimate space shared only by us two. At first it was strange, an itch I needed to scratch – like a curiosity that I had to explore. I didn’t know much what to expect, or what I might feel, but after a few encounters I became more enthralled and the more I felt it, the more I realized that maybe there’s more to this than meets the eye.
It’s all very intriguing, to say the least. Flirting with the inanimate, Penis Rings but somehow still feeling a kind of human connection. Playing with its curves and angles in a way I could never replicate with another one. Tenderly touching its surfaces in the most intimate way, as if I can feel its soul, its essence. Asking silently what it feels, if anything. Is there an emotion there, or am I just playing with my own projection?
I know it’s silly, but I feel almost as if I’m talking to it, in my own way, like it understands me. I talk to it like it’s an old friend I’m catching up with, and it’s still response is still as gentle as it was the first time I ever encountered it. The conversations I have with it are playful and daring and electrifying. I’m dreaming up a whole lot of possibilities which, through its faint whisper seem to come true in my own little world.
Sometimes we go beyond the physical and somehow we meander into a deep-sea of feelings and emotions. I’m talking out loud and I feel the vibrations back at me, as if it were responding with a kind of tenderness I’ve never felt before. Maybe even a kind of love? It’s truly baffling.
One thing’s for sure, I’m no longer asking why. I guess I’m just enjoying the attention and letting myself feel what I’m feeling – if anything at all…
We take things slow, most of the time playing and exploring. I’m no longer shy and I’m running my hands over its curves with an abandon I’ve never felt before. I’m thrilled, ecstatic, intrigued and curious. I’m taking risks, and I’m learning from them and that’s what I like about this. I’m expanding my own limits.
My gaze is never far away from it and I continuously find new ways to love it. I get that some people would say I’m crazy and wouldn’t understand and I certainly don’t expect them to, but I’m thinking maybe there’s more than what life has to offer. Maybe I’m not just tripping with this sex doll. Maybe I’m tripping with life.