It was just another Sunday night, I was scrolling through the internet, minding my own business when I stumbled across the headline “Zelda Sex Doll”. I was curious so I clicked the link, sex toys and was met with what can only be described as the stuff of nightmares. A mannequin styled like Princess Zelda from the hit Nintendo franchise The Legend of Zelda. I couldn’t believe what I was seeing!
I suddenly thought back to the countless hours I had spent playing the franchise as a kid, and how I was so enamored with the character of Zelda. How could anyone take a beloved gaming character and construct a sex doll out of her? Worse still, who would buy such a thing?The absurdity of it all made me laugh loudly, thankful that it wasn’t me.
Using the old cliche “it’s a small world” I took to Twitter and sure enough, there were people talking about the creepy Zelda doll. Obviously someone had the bright idea to create such an abomination, and even manage to get it shipped and sold. It was crazy!
I guess it could be argued that it’s part of a bigger picture, and that in some way the doll could be seen as a tribute to the character of Zelda. However, that’s just a long-winded justification, as we all know it’s really just a creepy veneer for a sex doll. This whole bizarre discovery had left me feeling sadder than ever before, Penis Rings so I decided to cheer myself up by revisiting my favorite Zelda game, Ocarina of Time.
What I found was that the prohibition of the Zelda Sex Doll put a damper on the Zelda fan community. A lot of people were really outed and disappointed by the news. It gets worse though as some shops are still selling it. I mean, why would they do that? There is no denying that it takes away from the spirit of the game.
Some argue that the Zelda Sex Doll is just another form of merchandise based on an intellectual property. On the surface, it may seem like an innocuous product, however, it is damaging to members of the fan community. It is disrespectful to the character of Zelda and her story, as well as her huge fan base.
And so, I hope that the shops selling the Zelda Sex Doll come to their senses and take it off the shelves. The world deserves to have the wholesome version of Zelda that we all grew up with, and that we all know and love.